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One of the flawed facets in human nature is envy. We are usually more concerned about sadness or anger in our lives, but if we think about it, envy can be the culprit behind a lot of sadness and anger.
What are the mental mechanics of breaking free of envy?
The first step is something that just happens to many, but not everyone. Over time, a person becomes sick and tired of feeling the deep frustration from envy. No matter what you have, there is always someone else who has more.
The frustration doesn’t do any good, and the person knows envy is wrong anyway.
Like being sick and tired of being alone can motivate us to go out and meet people, this frustration with being frustrated can be the catalyst to break the cycle. We want to give up the envy.
What do we replace it with? Giving up a chunk of a mental mindset means finding a replacement. It’s the way the mind works.
Many historical teachings as well as new scientific studies tell us that lasting (not fleeting) happiness comes from being thankful or grateful. (1)
Resort to the major message in these writings.
Think “thanks.” Can you be deeply thankful, and envious in the same instant? You might be able to flip between the two, but both cannot occupy the forefront of your mind simultaneously.
Effort: Strive to keep the flashlight of your mind on what you are thankful for. A lazy mind will not succeed here.
If you are thankful, it is because you already have something that you are thankful for. This is the opposite of envy, where you are not thankful since you don’t have something. How is your mind going to manage this one-eighty?
There are several parts to this answer.
Go through the mental “what if’s” such as, “What if I didn’t have a roof over my head? What if I was in constant pain like a lot of people?” And so on.
But more importantly, and this might not be you, but I find the most satisfying and impenetrable thankfulness in my spiritual situation. My real value is not in the worldly things that are the basis of envy.
These mechanics are an ongoing practice and you will be surprised at your improvement. Eventually when you hear of someone getting into a great situation that you will never have, you will get that “You Go!” feeling of congratulations for them. And that by itself will be a warm welcome feeling that shows you can break free of the point system that envy is built upon.
(1) https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier